The Most Annoying Test Subject
by EtherealDreamCloud
Summary: The organization called "The Occultists" found a new test subject for their Psychological Project. Little did they know... how much endless complaining and non-stop talking they will hear from the new guinea pig.


**Author's note: Okay, so I wrote this one-shot in a fit of anger... because of this ONE guy. It's basically a revenge-fic...**

 **Anyway, this is a "Neighbours in Hell: Hardcore" (or just NiH) fanfic and it takes place BEFORE the main events of the game. If you're unfamiliar with NiH, just read "Psychological Project"**

 **And yes, I know it's not good, but that's because I didn't care. So I only put little effort into this.**

* * *

In the laboratory of the organization called "The Occultists", Joe was busy with some important files.

"Greetings chief!" but one of his colleagues disturbed him.

"Why is it that you interrupted me?" Joe spoke in his usual monotone voice.

"I apologize for that, but we have brought a new test subject for our project."

"Excellent. Any information about him?" he asked.

"Well, I found his ID card from his bag. The name of the man is Pavel Markov, his nationality is Bulgarian and he's 31 years old."

"Interesting..." the main occultist rubbed his beard in thought "You and the others bring him here so we can put him through all the trials...now!"

"Right away!"

Four members entered the place, carrying the sleeping man and then placed him on one of the beds for experiments. They made sure he would not escape by tying him up. After a minute or two, Pavel had recovered consciousness.

"Ugh...What?" he was feeling groggy "Who're you? Where am I?!"

"I am the leader of 'The Occultists' Joseph Deen, but you may call me just Joe" he introduced himself "and you are in our laboratory so you can participate in our **Psychological Project**."

"I didn't agree on any other projects, except my music ones..." Pavel tried to yell, but because he was tired, his voice sounded like murmurs.

"Who said there was an agreement at all?" he told him with a barely noticeable smirk "There is no such thing as 'objections' from our guinea pigs, Mr. Pavel Markov. I guess I should call you just Pavel."

"How the frig do you know my name? Did you take my ID card or something?"

"Yes, but your ID is the least of your concern..."

"Now listen here, you stupid mumbo-jumbo believers!" the Bulgarian man suddenly got his energy back "You better free me right this instant, because I have two lousy lazy roommates who can't take care of themselves at all and I need to pay a lot and I mean a lot of money for our rent! My parents won't help me at all with the money, they're so freaking greedy! They only gave me 1000000000000 euros...agh!"

"We...umm...sort of understand, but..." Joe was about to say something.

However, the Bulgarian man just continued whining without stopping.

"Even when I lectured them they just straight up started crying, yelling at me and insulting me! How dare they?! Why won't they ever take responsibility?! I'm always have to be the one taking all of the burden - the heating, the bills, the deadlines, the food, the water, my crazy ex girlfriend, my crybaby roommates... I really do mean everything! Those two should either go back to their hometowns or get a real job, and not self-employment jobs like they always do! I mean sure, I do something like that too, but I earn more than enough than them! On top of that, I'm constantly very tired, I'm living in a misery of an apartment, and then there's..."

Pavel just continued on and on. Joe decided listening to him would be only a waste of time, so he gestured to one of the members.

"Listen..." the lead occultist whispered "bring the loudest person here, so he can shut him up and hear what I have to say..."

"I don't think it's safe to bring Rottweiler here..."

"The second loudest person then..." he corrected himself.

The member looked at the tied complainer, and shrugged confusedly.

"Alright, now you are just being a know-it-all...stop that, and bring someone as loud as him or I will make you listen to him. Understood?"

The person got frightened from the threat and went away. About a minute later, the same person was with another one.

"Shut your mouth and listen to the chief, you idiot!" the other member yelled.

"No! All of you are the same! You won't help me! You won't take responsibility! You're all..." Pavel shouted back and would not stop.

Occultist Joe rubbed his forehead, even he was starting to feel frustrated with him.

"Well, she tried... What do want to do with him now? Because he doesn't want to listen about what lies in Rottweiler's house..."

"You know what?" he heavily sighed "Just shove him in there for all I care... I rather have our time spent on the project itself than dealing with him. We can always find another test subject anyway..."

"Good point, chief! But he won't calm down at all, should we sedate him again?"

"Do it, then transport him to the house."

"Understood..."

Surprisingly, only one shot of tranquilizer is all it took to sedate Pavel.

* * *

Later on, Pavel woke up somewhere else unfamiliar to him.

'Where the Hell am I now?' he thought 'And for some reason, the air smells poisonous mixed with decay...'

He then barely stood up, and looked around the house. It was covered in crimson everywhere, there were small pieces of body parts.

'This place is more of a misery than my current home. Even my roommates can clean way better than this fake haunted house...' he

To him it was the most horrific sight ever... only not in a way that would induce fear, instead it was more like "It's so fake and messy!" way. The Bulgarian man, tried to leave the house. Zilch... it was locked, it made him really irritated.

"They can't lock me in here! I have lots of things to do!" he shouted without a second thought.

Heavy footsteps were heard from the living room, followed by deep voice with a playful but creepy tone.

"Who goes there?"

Afterwards, the overweight psychopathic maniac appeared in the hall.

"Oh, it's a new toy to play with! ~" he laughed cheerfully after that sentence, however his expression was anything but cheerful.

Both of them were met face-to-face, either of them will regret their decision. Big emphasis on the word "either".

An hour has passed, and "The Occultists" were attempting to fix an issue with the tracking device.

"Any reports about Pavel or Rottweiler?" asked Joe.

"No, sir... there are still aren't any, not even a death report."

"Well, I suppose I would not be surprised if we found out, that our murderer has purposefully dragged his little fun for too long." he added.

At that moment, someone burst through the door - it was Pavel. Most of the people in the place were shocked, while Pavel himself started whining even more loudly.

"What?! How in the Hell did he survive?!" said one of the members.

"Hold on." said Joe "Do you remember what any of our guinea pigs has to do on our trials?"

"Umm... make Rottweiler as angry as possible, no matter how?"

"Exactly. So I assume that is how he passed the first trial... by annoying him with his non-stop talking."

"Oh! You also think I'm annoying?! All of you are the same - whiny and unhappy with their lives!"

"Look who is talking..." said Joe "You need to actually become useful, go back in that house, and continue the other trials."

"About that..." said his colleague "with the backup device, we found out that our murderer is left with a massive migraine..."

"That is a shame..." he said while looking at the whiner "Though that is not surprising..."

"What now? He's not frightened enough to listen to us!"

The main occultist walked up to a shelf, and began searching through for something. Minutes later, he was holding a chainsaw.

"If even Rottweiler can not get rid of the nuisance... Then I will do it myself..."

He ran up to the constant complainer, and the chainsaw plunged. It happened in slow motion - his skin giving way and the chainsaw slicing even through the ribs, the blood being forced from his mouth, the light in his eyes dying. But it was not enough.

Joe chopped him into half again. And again, many times in a row.

He was laughing, emotions rising in him that he had rarely felt. Satisfaction! He watched how Pavel's blood splatter. The corpse was sliced so many times, his face is unrecognizable. No, scratch that! There was no face at all, because it was that bad!

"This is what you get for not cooperating with us, Mr. Markov..." Joe said after he calmed down.

Considering that Joe barely shows any emotions, that someone managed to His colleagues stood in horror. Incredibly afraid that if they disobey, they will experience the same thing... or even worse.

"What are you all looking at? Do not stand there! Someone just throw the remains into the incinerator!" Joe commanded.

"What about Markov's file record? What are we supposed to write about his death like all the other previous test subjects?"

"Nothing. He deserves to be forgotten. Anyway, do everything what I say - throw his remains into the incinerator and none of you should have any problems with me."

"Right away."

"After that we will take a whole day break. Tomorrow we will catch up..."

Well, there is always that one person who will annoy everyone with their absurd rudeness for absolutely no reason. The leader of "The Occultists" hopes, he and his colleagues will find someone a lot more competent and intelligent.


End file.
